later2nite (later2nite) wrote,


One of my very best friends, who is male, pressed this magazine article into my hand yesterday and walked away laughing:


1. FINE - This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. FIVE MINUTES - If she is getting dressed, this means a half hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. NOTHING - This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with NOTHING usually end in FINE.

4. GO AHEAD - This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. LOUD SIGH - This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3.)

6. THAT'S OKAY - This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. THAT'S OKAY means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS - A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint. Just say, "You're welcome."

8. WHATEVER - This is a woman's way of saying, "Fuck you!"

9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I GOT IT. - Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to #3.

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