Pairing: Brian and Justin
Rating: NC 17
Timeline: Fifteen years into the future after 513
MEMORY LANE IS OPEN -- CHAPTER ONE
He worshipped me. He stalked me. About a week after we'd met, he told me that he needed me.
I caressed his velvety cheek and ridiculed the crock of shit he'd been taught to think, all the while nearly drowning in those innocent pools of blue. I could have easily given in right then and there, yet I'd been strong and held my ground, seeing fit to cling to my tried-and-true credo of 'I don't believe in love.'
Besides, who would have claimed first prize in the How Many Times Can You Bitterly Disappoint Justin Taylor In One Lifetime grand sweepstakes if I'd given in so hastily? Exactly. So, in the long run, I guess you could say it all worked out.
Our first year was certainly fraught with turmoil, mainly my own at trying to make sense of my life's philosophy and fighting tooth and nail to continue my merry way down its path. The fact that I'd staunchly adhered to it for twenty-nine years meant absolutely nothing to My Better Half, whose purpose for existence, it seems as I look back on it, was to stymie my progress come hell or high water. I mean, have you seen his ass?
But I digress.
"Where're you headed?" I can still hear myself ask as if it were yesterday, stumbling out of Babylon and spying his unfamiliar form against that lamppost across the street. Something about the way his gaze met mine should have signaled trouble for this former fuck 'em and run king, but I'd found my conquest for the night, and he was hot!
"No place special," he'd nonchalantly shrugged, his mouth just begging to be kissed.
He'd set me up so beautifully. I pressed my lips together and raised an eyebrow. "I can change that," tumbled out unchecked, a hint of a smile playing around the corners of my eyes at the thought of how easy it was going to be.
But taking his virginity? Letting him name my kid? Openly carrying on with crazy possessive antics to win him back from two would-be tricks who'd suddenly found him more fascinating than me? Mighty significant incidents had gone down within 72 hours of that initial glance, and mixed together with his starry-eyed dreams, I should have known I was stirring a recipe for a dish I'd been avoiding my entire life.
He'd seen something in me worth his while even as I'd seen nothing there, fighting for me with steely determination until he had me right where he wanted me. Impressive, you say? Hell, yes! It was, especially considering what a stubborn fool I used to be. You see, before we'd made it too far into that first year, it dawned on this devoted disciple that the only way for my well-reasoned creed to hold any weight at all was to keep him at bay.
Sometimes, I succeeded. It's a goddamned mystery why he didn't throw in the towel and give up on my sorry ass. God knows I'd heaped scores of opportunities onto him to do just that. (Yes, I've since apologized many times over for my sucky behavior.) Miraculously, though, he always came back for more. I believe I've mentioned his starry-eyed dreams.
At other times, I failed miserably to keep him at bay, what with his mission statement consisting of, "Fuck me harder!"
And then there were all the times it ended in a draw: I succeeded, yet Justin could sense I didn't want to.
Take, for instance, the afternoon I popped into Lindsey and Melanie's with a little toy for Gus. "What's he doing here?" I quickly asked as I glimpsed Justin on the floor of their living room, almost positive a collective conspiracy was somehow afoot.
Lindsey sported a devious smile. "We ran into him on the street."
"It was like this weird coincidence," Justin added, not looking up. He sat there, continuing to sketch Lindsey and the sleeping infant cradled in her arms, without as much as a nod in my direction.
"I'll bet," I snarked, sarcasm seeming to be my middle name back then. Playfully smacking the back of his head as I walked behind him, I made my way toward the chair in the corner that doubled as a stuffed animal receptacle. I still wonder, to this day, if any of them caught the spring in my step when I covertly detected the huge grin spreading across his face.
"This is really good," Lindsey raved as Justin held up the finished, poignantly accurate pencil drawing of mother and child. "For someone your age, you have an amazing feel for the human form."
"I've noticed that, myself," I remarked casually, retrieving an animal from under my leg. I tossed it Justin's way and watched it collide with the side of his face because I was tired of being neglected, but the kid had willpower and (as he admitted to me years later) an agenda.
"I was onto you," he'd said with a twinkle in his eye and a kiss on his lips just for me. "You always had to be in control."
We were celebrating our tenth anniversary so I let that one go. It might have had something to do with the way he rapidly tacked on what a tough time he'd had ignoring me. And his overwhelming urge to run to me.
"You know, there's going to be an art show at the GLC," Lindsey kept up the conversation that day at her house.
"What's that?" Justin wondered. He'd only been out a few months; there was so much he'd needed to learn.
"The Gay and Lesbian Center," I croaked sardonically. "A safe haven for fags who can't get laid." I think that was the very moment I'd decided to appoint myself his personal tutor for the sole objective of molding him into the best homosexual he could possibly be - my little project. It was perfect. I could go on fucking him silly and enjoying my idol status in his eyes, all under the guise of homosexual guru.
"Twist reality much?" I should have been asking myself, but I was too busy teaching him how to give the ultimate blow job. Hey, I still view the personal tutor route as the most brilliant win-win ever to be devised.
"Would you like to have your work in the show?" Lindsey asked Justin.
"That would be intense," he replied, all the idealism and zeal you'd expect from a budding seventeen-year-old artist bubbling from his pores.
"Good," I threw in from the animal chair. "Give him something to do besides stalking me." A teddy bear flew through the air, landing squarely on my target.
This time he reacted. "Don't flatter yourself!" Laughing, he lobbed it into a high arc right back at me, his eyes alive with infatuation and mine eating it up.
Lindsey told me later I was beaming in spite of myself, and that it was the first time she'd noticed something different about me.
Gotta love those draws!